Rays of Sunshine

Today was the first day, in two weeks, that I haven't been in torment all day from my longing to have Caleb home for Christmas. It was a wonderful, normal, regular, everyday day... Without an undercurrent of emotional pain and longing. It was a huge relief, and I was grateful for the break.
I think it has been an enemy attack, actually. The temptation to bring Caleb home was the greatest I have known it to be yesterday. In fact, I couldn't fight it alone. I had to call a friend.
I was grateful for wise friendships yesterday. During our conversation, I knew I had to let Caleb stay, but my wise friend helped me figure out why I wanted him home so badly now, when it was never like this the last 3 times I took him to rehab.

The biggest part of the longing stems from the fact that he really has changed now... And I don't want to miss another minute.
But we worked through it.
She was gentle with me, speaking the truth in love, and I am grateful. Today was so much better!
Then, I got a letter from Caleb, it went with the day so perfectly! Only God!! His mom had mailed him a blank card last month, and he chose to write in it and send it to me this week, and I just happened to get it today, when the torment had passed.
The card itself said, "May a warm ray of sunshine peek through your window...
...and find its way into everything you do today"
It was perfect, because the Son had been shining into my day and it was completely different. Cheesy, I know, but so true. And I am so grateful for that, just so grateful.
What a day.
The letter said: "Lindsay, my love!
I miss you so so much. I think about you a lot. I think about you all day, I go to bed thinking about you, I have dreams with you in them and I wake up thinking about you! It was a great dream, a little time with my best friend.  It was so nice to talk to you Sunday, I know it is really hard, but God. I am so grateful to God that you, my beautiful wife, love our Lord and Savior.  Keep turning to Him, Lindsay, He will give you the strength and let warm rays of sunshine shine into your life. Just like your dad's message Sunday!
I'm so excited that someone is showing interest in the house, I will miss it but I know the financial relief it will bring when it sells.
Christmas and New Years are going to be hard and sad, but I hope being apart will be less difficult after the holidays pass.
I love you so much, Lindsay. I miss your smiles, your touch, talking with you! You're my best friend and I can't wait to be with you every day, having devotions and tea in the mornings and spending time as a family going on adventures.  This is hard, but God knows what I needed and I'm never turning back! He is and will give me the strength to stay strong and clean!! :) I love you so much Lindsay.
Love,
Caleb"
What sunshine for a day of healing and peace!
Thanks be to God for His indescribable gifts.