Snow Day/Visit Day!

     The roads iced over. The change happened within a matter of a half-hour.  A regular day turned snow-day.  Then, it melted enough.
     We loaded in the family mini-van.  I had texted the pastor of 2nd phase to ask permission when I knew my sister would be home and we got the go-ahead. I told him, "Don't tell Caleb, I want it to be a surprise."  He was happy to play along.
     The five of us traveled, brimming with anticipation and excitement, but it wasn't enough to keep the youngest two awake for the drive.  That worked out perfectly, because they were well rested when we pulled in.  As I got the younger children out of the van, the older two ran for the door of the house that held their Daddy.  I heard him squeal, them squeal, laughter and hugs, and the baby saw her daddy and nearly jumped out of my arms trying to get to him.  "My Daddy! My Daddy!" He scooped her up, laughing at her delight.
     We were ushered into a cozy living room; the children kicked off their shoes and made themselves at home.  Caleb lined their shoes up at the door, under the coat rack, like a visit at the home of an old friend.  We sat on the couches as children crawled from one parent to the next.  I kissed Caleb hello which ignited, from William, "Mommy and Daddy, swimmin in the sea, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Cora and Gavin took up the song (from Cora's performance in Little Mermaid Jr this past summer), and they skipped around the living room, eventually collapsing into a pile of giggles as Daddy caught them and tickled them.

     There were airplane rides on Daddy's feet, just like at home after a long day at work, the line was made and after each child "airplane" flew, there was a soft couch to catch their "crash."  Ellie loved this game and kept pushing her way to the front of the line, "My turn! My turn!"
     Gavin had saved the legos that Daddy had given him to do with his dad, so the legos were opened and he began.
     Caleb shared a letter with me, from one of the men in first phase, describing how Caleb had been instrumental in this man's feeling accepted and sticking with the program.  We discussed the call I have felt to counseling.  Caleb said, "God is bringing us toward something with all of this... but it will probably look completely different than either of us are imagining right now."  He said that he can see us working together, me with families and him with the men, some day, some day...  "There is a wife,' he said, "she's struggling.  You need to meet her, I know it would be good."
     The children taught card games to the men there.  They were celebrities.  They brought so much laughter.  Cora was in her element, new people to talk to!  She floated from table to table in the "chow hall" entering new conversations while they ate their pbj's.  Pots and pans clanked in the background as the kitchen crew prepared dinner for the guys.
     Caleb and I had a moment to talk while the children were eating.  A job had come up, an offer for Caleb to consider... he might have to leave the program a bit early, but it would be a set job, security.  We discussed it.  He mentioned how temptation wouldn't be tempting if it didn't look like it could be a good thing.
"But," he was adamant, "I need to finish this."
     I consented.  The job was just a possibility.  But the purpose for his pain, our pain, isn't going to be found in a maintenance position.  He feels called do something more.  He said, "It is possible that a position like that is where I could end up, but I want to stay connected here, I want to keep working with the guys here.  It isn't time to think about that yet."  Thirteen months.  The program is thirteen months and he has finished one, but he is excited to do this, to get this...
     I was humbled.
     But I realized that call that I had felt so strongly when the two of us went to the counseling conference... that call wasn't just for me.  It wasn't just me at the conference.  The call was to us.  We had both gone, we had both experienced that mountain-top weekend. Whatever it looks like when this is all said and done, there is something waiting for us to do on the other side.  And the call is there.  Caleb's life has been spared, and he has already started giving all the gratitude for his restored life to God and to the other men he lives with...
     The visit filled the longing of my heart for time as a family.   Holding hands on a couch while children crawled over and between us was more beautiful than I had dreamed it would be!
     In my last blog, I lamented over our brokenness.  In this one, I want to praise God for His gifts of hope and presence.
     How does a broken marriage find healing?  Commitment, doing the hard work of really changing bad behavior and habit, sacrificing expectations, and a slow kitting back together in love.  God did an awesome thing yesterday.  I'm so grateful!  I know it was only the beginning.  But forgiveness?  It is freeing, and the work has been freeing my heart to love Caleb better than I ever would have otherwise.  The gift given to us through adversity? God's special gift to us is the opportunity to cherish time, delight in moments and love people without an agenda.  We haven't arrived at perfection, but we have found great freedom, peace, hope and love!!  And the children have found their daddy.
     I pray that today you are able to delight in knowing the God of the Universe is present with you, no matter what hardships you are going through.  And there is hope.  May each moment of your today be marked by His love and presence with you!  Each breath really is a gift, let's spend some time saying "thank you" to the Giver of every good and perfect gift!