Rays of Sunshine

Today was the first day, in two weeks, that I haven't been in torment all day from my longing to have Caleb home for Christmas. It was a wonderful, normal, regular, everyday day... Without an undercurrent of emotional pain and longing. It was a huge relief, and I was grateful for the break.
I think it has been an enemy attack, actually. The temptation to bring Caleb home was the greatest I have known it to be yesterday. In fact, I couldn't fight it alone. I had to call a friend.
I was grateful for wise friendships yesterday. During our conversation, I knew I had to let Caleb stay, but my wise friend helped me figure out why I wanted him home so badly now, when it was never like this the last 3 times I took him to rehab.

Selfish Wishes...

We visited Caleb on Thanksgiving day. It was the first time the children had seen him in almost seven weeks...
It was more than difficult to leave.
William clung to his neck, "I want you to come home with us, Daddy! When will you come home with us?"
It had taken Ellie almost a whole hour to warm up to Caleb, she didn't really know him, and the goodbye was terrible for her.  She finally had her Daddy, and she just wanted him to hold her. Three hours in a cold, sterile room did nothing to help her confusion about the position her Daddy plays in her life...